How to Manage + Change How You React to Stress
We all have different stress triggers — things that cause a stress response in our body, or make us feel ‘unsafe’
The body’s natural response to stress is our fight-flight-freeze-fawn response. A hormone reaction that causes elevated amounts of cortisol + adrenaline to be released into our blood stream giving our body the strength + reactions it needs to escape immediate danger
The problem is this response was built to help our ancestors escape the jaws of a sabre-tooth, and is a little out of place in the modern world
Unfortunately our body doesn’t recognise the difference between the threat from a sabre-tooth and our reaction from being shouted at by our boss or trying juggle work + family life on a schedule
When we get stressed that fight-flight-freeze-fawn response pulls blood and other resources away from the body’s normal functions ; such as digestion + normal hormone production
The good news is you CAN change how you react to stress.
In fact when your are dealing with dis-ease and illness around the nervous system you HAVE to change your relationship with stress!
Before we dive into managing your stress it’s helpful to know HOW stress shows up for you based on your stress personality type….
TAKE THE STRESS PERSONALITY QUIZ Find out what your stress personality type is based on your personality traits, actions + beliefs… AND how stress is most likely to show up for you!
What happens when you change your mindset?
As we grow up we are shown how to deal with stress and what stress means based on the people around us we learn from — parents / family / peers etc.
And I use the term ‘shown’ loosely. As these habits and coping mechanisms aren’t always healthy…
So, if how you feel stress, when you get stressed, and how it affects you is mostly down to your upbringing, subconscious mind, and habits, how do you change that?…
As soon as we hear subconscious mind it’s easy to think - “well I have no control over that”… and to a degree you would be right.
BUT
If you are able to analyse
yourself, stay present and notice when stress starts to show up in your body/mind,
the event or situation that triggered it, and
your thought processes + feelings both before and during that stress
You can start to make changes for yourself.
Change is never easy. Especially for us humans and creatures of habit, and especially when it means tapping into some deep rooted beliefs and patterns that you’ve had your whole life.
If step one of this process is the analysis, then steps two and three are vigilance and making changes…
To notice when your stress triggers and warning areas are present means being mindful of what’s going on around you and in your mind in the present moment.
To achieve this you need a mindfulness practice. One that draws you back into the present and helps you re-ground yourself in your body and your surroundings when you feel yourself drifting off into your own world.
Your Stress Symptoms
Before you can start dealing with your stress in a healthy way you need to know not just what triggers your stress and when it shows up, but also what to your stress triggers are! And they can be different for everyone…
before you can start dealing with your stress in a healthy way you need to know not just what triggers your stress and when it shows up, but also what your stress triggers are! And they can be different for everyone…
For some people it is the adrenaline rush and spike of energy that make you feel buzzed, but leave you depleted with an energy crash free.
For others it can be anxiety, panic attacks, digestive issues, that feeling of butterflies in stomach. Even food cravings can be a sign of stress!
As well as headaches, stiffness and tension anywhere in the body but especially the neck and shoulders.
Of course there are lots of other symptoms, many of which come after the fact. But remember here we are focusing on symptoms and signs your body gives us the time the stress is happening. Is this just a short list of common symptoms. But what are yours?
of course there are lots of other symptoms, many of which come after the fact. But remember here we are focusing on symptoms and signs your body gives us the time the stress is happening. This just a short list of common symptoms. But what are yours?
Take time to notice them next time you start to feel stressed, and start letting them down and making yourself a list.
Next time you start to feel stressed, start jotting them down and making yourself a list.
All these things will then help you start changing the narrative around your stress
What to do when your stress triggers show up
Once you have your list, and are remembering to stay present in your everyday, start noticing when you feel stress in your mind and body, these are your next steps:
1.Decide what you want to change your reaction to
If you have negative self talk or heightened emotions during stressful moments what do you want to tell yourself instead?
Decide on a one line mantra you can repeat when you start noticing these thoughts come up eg. Change “I’m such a failure” to “That was a mistake but I can fix this. I am amazing”
If your emotions tend to get the better of you, what do you want to feel instead? eg. If you have a tendency to get angry, change it to peace instead. When you feel that anger building, close your eyes, take deep breaths in and out to the count of six, and picture yourself in a meadow filled with flowers, or the sun shining on your skin, whatever visual scenario that works to help you feel calm and relaxed.
2.Focus on breath work
If you tend to feel panic and run around like a headless chicken when you feel stressed, the same breath work exercise applies.
Breath work is a key element of the process. It’s what brings you back into your physical body. Allows you to snap out of the habit of a certain reaction, allows you the space to speak your mantras, brings you back to the most basic of needs - breathing.
AND that breath in for 6-breath out for six exercise works to reset your nervous system + help your body feel safe too!
3.Take a step back
Just one deep breath allows you to take a mental step back from what’s going on around you and reasses. Instead of getting caught up in the ‘reaction’ of the moment.
Taking a step back allows you space to ask yourself how do I want to act in this situation? What is my best course of action here? Is this really how I feel?
When we act in a way that is aligned with our true selves and our beliefs and values we show our body and our mind that we are showing up for ourselves.
4. Get grounded
Both as you are breathing and after the incident it’s good for your mind + body to feel grounded so you can re enter and find your balance + equilibrium.
Imagining roots growing out from your feet and going deep, deep into the earth as you are taking those deep breaths is one way to do this.
Another is to physically go outside and get up close with nature. Focus on your senses — feel the plants and grass, what can you smell? What colours do you see?…
This isn’t a simple process by any means. Don’t expect to do all of these steps and get it right first time. It takes time. It’s a process… sometimes a long one.
But. As they say, awareness is the first step to recovery
xo Emily
