Creating Change in a Healthy Way: Holistic Ways to Navigate the Nervous System's Need for Familiarity
Change is an inevitable part of life, yet it is often met with resistance, especially when it involves stepping out of our comfort zones. Our nervous system plays a significant role in this resistance, as it is wired to seek safety in the familiar. This can make the process of change feel daunting or even dangerous, even when we consciously know that change is necessary for our growth and wellbeing.
That change can be even harder on our nervous systems when they are living in a constant state of stress and ‘fight or flight’
In this blog post, we will explore how to recognise when change is needed, understand the role of the nervous system in resisting change, and cover several holistic strategies for creating change in a healthy way that honours your body’s natural inclinations toward safety and stability & protect your nervous system health.
How to Recognise When You Need to Change
The first critical step to being able to make changes in your life is the ability to identify the signs that indicate change is necessary. Often, these signs manifest in subtle ways, and if we’re not attuned to them, we may ignore them until they escalate into more significant issues.
1. Persistent Feelings of Discomfort or Discontent
One of the most telling signs that change is needed is a persistent feeling of discomfort or discontent in your current situation. This could manifest as a general sense of unease, a lack of fulfilment, or even frustration or anger. While occasional discomfort is a normal part of life, persistent feelings suggest that something fundamental needs to shift.
2. Physical Symptoms of Stress or Burnout
Our bodies are incredibly adept at signalling when something is wrong, often through physical symptoms. Chronic stress, tension headaches, fatigue, digestive issues, sleep issues, and constant or frequent illness can all be signs that your current lifestyle or environment is not conducive to your wellbeing. These symptoms are often the body's way of telling you that something is very wrong and a change is needed, even if you’re not consciously aware of it.
3. Stagnation in Personal Growth
Another sign that change is necessary is a feeling of stagnation in your personal or professional growth. If you find yourself feeling stuck, unmotivated, or uninterested in activities that once brought you joy, it may be a sign that you have outgrown your current circumstances and need to move in a new direction.
4. Recurrent Thoughts About What Could Be
Do you find yourself daydreaming about a different life, career, or relationship? These recurrent thoughts can be a sign that your subconscious mind is yearning for change. While it’s normal to fantasise occasionally, if these thoughts are frequent and consistent, they may indicate that your current reality is not aligned with your true desires.
5. Intuition or Gut Feelings
Sometimes, the need for change is less about logical reasoning and more about intuition or gut feelings. You might feel a deep, inexplicable knowing that something in your life needs to shift. Honouring this intuition, even when it’s not supported by external evidence, can be a crucial step toward creating the change you need.
Understanding the Nervous System’s Role in Resisting Change
Once you've recognised the need for change, the next hurdle is often the resistance that arises when you attempt to implement that change. This resistance is rooted in one of two things; the ego wanting to keep us small to stay ‘safe’, or the nervous system, which is wired to prioritise safety and survival above all else.
The Role of the Autonomic Nervous System
The autonomic nervous system (ANS) is responsible for regulating involuntary bodily functions, such as heart rate, digestion, and respiratory rate. It consists of two main branches: the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).
Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS): The SNS is often referred to as the "fight or flight" system. It is activated in response to perceived threats, preparing the body to either fight or flee. This system is crucial for survival in dangerous situations but can be triggered by stressors that are not life-threatening, such as a challenging conversation or a significant life change.
Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS): The PNS is the "rest and digest" system, which promotes relaxation, healing, and recovery. It helps to counterbalance the effects of the SNS, bringing the body back to a state of calm after a stressful event.
When faced with the prospect of change, the SNS may interpret this as a threat, especially if the change involves stepping into the unknown. This can lead to physical and emotional reactions designed to keep you in a state of safety, such as anxiety, increased heart rate, or an overwhelming urge to retreat to the familiar.
The Comfort Zone and the Threat Response
The comfort zone is a psychological state, a place where you feel at ease and in control. It’s a mental space where the body feels safe because the environment and routines are predictable. Stepping out of your comfort zone, even for positive changes, can trigger the nervous system’s threat response because it can also bring feelings of stress.
This response can manifest as:
Anxiety: A common reaction to change is anxiety, which can range from mild nervousness to full-blown panic. This is the nervous system's way of trying to keep you safe by warning you of potential dangers associated with the unknown.
Procrastination or Avoidance: The nervous system may also lead you to procrastinate or avoid the change altogether. This can be seen as the body's way of keeping you in a familiar, and therefore "safe," environment.
Physical Symptoms: As mentioned earlier, the nervous system's response to change can result in physical symptoms like tension, headaches, or digestive issues. These symptoms are the body's attempt to communicate its discomfort with the impending change.
The good news is that with practice and persistence, you can train your brain to become more comfortable with change. However, this process takes time and requires consistent effort. That means consistently and repeatedly pushing yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit at a time….. Just as a muscle strengthens with repeated use, the brain’s pathways for embracing change become stronger the more they are used. Understanding this can help you approach change with patience and compassion for yourself, knowing that discomfort is a natural part of the process.
Strategies for Creating Healthy Change
Now that we’ve explored the signs that change is needed and the nervous system's role in resisting change, let’s delve into practical strategies for creating change in a way that supports your nervous system and overall well-being.
1. Awareness and Mindfulness
The first step in creating healthy change is cultivating awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, deep breathing, or mindful movement (like yoga or tai chi), can help you tune into your internal state and recognise when your nervous system is reacting to the prospect of change.
By becoming more aware of your body’s signals, you can differentiate between real threats and perceived ones. This awareness allows you to respond to your nervous system with compassion and understanding, rather than being controlled by its automatic reactions.
Yoga especially helps you to breath into and through discomfort to find the connection between your body and breath and is a really beautiful practice to help you slo down and focus on your body.
2. Gradual Exposure to Change
One of the most effective ways to help your nervous system adapt to change is through gradual exposure. Rather than making a drastic change all at once, break it down into smaller, manageable steps. This approach allows your nervous system to acclimate to each stage of the change process, reducing the intensity of the threat response.
For example, doing one small thing each week that is new, uncomfortable or scares you a little; speaking to a stranger, trying new hobby r exercises class, going out on your own.
3. Create a Safety Net
Creating a sense of safety is crucial when navigating change. This can be achieved by finding ways to create familiarity in the unknown and building a support system of friends, family, or professionals who can provide guidance and reassurance as you transition. Having a safety net can help calm your nervous system, as it knows that you’re not facing the change alone.
Maintaining some elements of familiarity during the change process can look like getting up and going to bed at the same time very day, keeping the same meal times or daily routine. For example, if you’re moving to a new city, bringing favorite items from your current home or maintaining your daily routines can provide a sense of continuity and security.
4. Reframe the Narrative Around Change
The stories we tell ourselves about change can significantly impact how we experience it. If you view change as something inherently dangerous or negative, your nervous system is more likely to respond with fear and resistance. However, if you can reframe change as an opportunity for growth, learning, and new experiences, and the unknown as something exciting to approach with curiosity instead of fear you may find it easier to embrace.
One way to reframe your narrative around change is to focus on the potential benefits and positive outcomes. Try visualising the life you want to create or reminding yourself of past experiences where change led to positive growth.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
Change can be challenging, and it’s essential to practice self-compassion throughout the process. This means acknowledging that it’s normal to feel scared or uncertain and that these feelings do not mean you’re weak or incapable.
Self-compassion also involves being kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned or you need to take a break, and practicing regular self care.
Change often comes with setbacks and obstacles, and it’s crucial to treat yourself with the same understanding and support that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.
6. Regulate Your Nervous System
Learning to regulate your nervous system is a powerful tool for managing the stress and anxiety or everyday life as well as the heightened stress that often accompany change. There are several techniques you can use to calm your nervous system in times of need including:
Deep Breathing: Deep, diaphragmatic breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation. Practice inhaling deeply through your nose, allowing your belly to rise, and then exhaling slowly through your mouth, letting your belly fall. This simple practice can help reduce anxiety and bring your body back to a state of calm when faced with change.
Grounding Exercises: Grounding techniques help you connect with the present moment and reduce feelings of overwhelm. One common method is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, where you identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise helps anchor you in the present and reduces the nervous system's fear response.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique involves tensing and then slowly releasing different muscle groups in the body. Start from your toes and work your way up to your head, paying attention to how your muscles feel as they relax. This practice can help relieve physical tension that often accompanies nervous system activation.
Visualisation: Visualising a calming or safe place can help soothe your nervous system during stressful times. Close your eyes and imagine a location where you feel completely safe and relaxed. It could be a real place, like a favorite vacation spot, or an imaginary one. Spend a few minutes fully immersing yourself in this environment, engaging all your senses to make it as real as possible in your mind.
7. Set Realistic Expectations
It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself when undergoing change. Change is rarely linear and it often involves ups and downs, progress and setbacks. By setting achievable goals and being flexible with your timeline, you reduce the pressure on yourself and your nervous system.
Remember that significant change takes time, often longer than anticipated. You just need to focus on your next step forward.
Give yourself permission to move at a pace that feels manageable, and celebrate small victories along the way. Recognising progress, no matter how minor, can boost your confidence and reinforce the positive aspects of change. It may help to keep a journal or track your progress so you can see your improvements over time.
8. Find Your Role Model / Others Who Have Navigated Change
Seeing other people achieve the same success you want for yourself lets your brain and subconscious mind know that it’s possible. This can help your nervous system feel safer about change, as it sees that others have not only survived but thrived after making similar shifts.
Connecting with others who are on a similar path, or have successfully navigated similar changes can provide both inspiration and practical advice. Whether through online communities, support groups, or personal connections, hearing others’ stories can help to normalise the challenges you’re facing and offer insights on how to cope.
9. Embrace a Growth Mindset
Adopting a growth mindset—believing that your abilities and circumstances can improve with effort—can make the process of change feel less intimidating. A growth mindset encourages you to view challenges as opportunities for learning and development rather than insurmountable obstacles.
When faced with setbacks or difficulties, remind yourself that these are part of the learning process. Each challenge you overcome strengthens your capacity for resilience and adaptability, making future changes less daunting.
10. Honour Your Body’s Needs
Maybe most importantly, it’s essential to honour your body’s needs throughout the change process. Change can be physically and emotionally draining , so make sure you’re taking care of yourself. This includes getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, staying hydrated, and engaging in regular physical activity.
Listening to your body’s signals and responding with care helps to maintain a balanced nervous system. When your body feels supported, your nervous system is more likely to cooperate with the changes you’re making, rather than resisting them.
Change is an inherent part of life, but it doesn’t have to be scary or overwhelming. While it often triggers our nervous system’s instinct to seek safety in the familiar, it is also opportunity for growth, learning, and transformation. Growth and change go hand in hand; you cannot grow without change.
As long as you support your body and mind, you can navigate change in a healthy and empowering way.
With time, patience, and persistence, your nervous system can adapt to new circumstances, allowing you to embrace change with greater ease and confidence.
Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge the courage it takes to step out of your comfort zone and trust that, with each step, you are moving closer to a life that is more aligned with your true self.
Change, when approached with awareness and compassion, can be a powerful catalyst for becoming the person you’re meant to be.
xo Emily
